I was doing some research on government raising, or determining how our children were raised when I came across an interesting article.
A child psychologist raised a point that bears some thought. You see, we go to great lengths to ensure our vegetables aren't tainted by pesticides... that they are not genetically modified. We watch to see our meat is free of antibiotics and growth hormones. We abhor caged animals, preferring free range varieties. Caging is wrong and we vote it with our food dollars. Even though we believe "free range" is better for our food, we believe quite the opposite... when it comes to our children.
I cannot say it any better than Professor Tanya Byron so, here is a link to a very interesting article.
Are our children raised in captivity?
We let kids stay indoors so they don't know how to fall, we carry 6 kinds of sanitizer to wipe hands, door handles, shopping carts so kids build no natural immunities. Our kid's social skills are limited to texts and emails so they don't develop the social skills to interact in a group of real people. They play games of fantasy... and they don't know how to catch or clean a fish.
So, you're done reading the article. What are your thoughts?
Monday, March 25, 2013
Thursday, March 21, 2013
How do I "Friend" my children?
I heard that there are some schools that don't allow students to hand out things like valentines or party invitations in school. They don't want to "traumatize" those students who don't receive an invite. I heard this story today.
A young girl, 6th grade, had a friend that was more like a playground buddy than a friend actually. The friend came to class and handed out invitations for a party at her house.. but this young girl didn't get one. When her father heard, what do you think he could've done? Could he call the friend's parents and demand an invite? Could he take his daughter to the party anyway... and gone in to confront the mother? What would that have accomplished?
His daughter said she was OK with not being invited. She said she should go get a little gift though. Seeing this little girl hurting, he wanted so badly to call the parents. He didn't though. He knew his daughter needed to learn to handle disappointment. She had to learn how to handle rejection. She had to learn to handle being shunned. Though he hurt for her, he knew he could do nothing but help her understand it wouldn't be the last time.
He knew there were parents who want to be friends with their kids. They call each other by first names and serve as the kids personal posse if they get into trouble. They go to the schools to force teachers to change grades, they go to court and argue with the judge. They try to be their friend... not their parent. As a result, their kids lack the tools to handle disappointment. They don't have the social skills needed to deal with rejection. They lash out with guns, knives, or baseball bats and they don't understand the consequences. They expect mom will be there for them. They walk into schools with firearms and take out students and teachers because they've never been taught the value of life. Sadly, as just happened today, some take their lives because they cannot handle being 13.
Parents cannot, and should not, be "friends" with their children. They need to teach, nurture and discipline their children. If you think you don't have time, or you're a single parent, take a look at the story of Dr. Ben Carson. His mom worked more jobs than you do... had less than you do... and she was a parent.
If you really want your kids to be good people, if you really want to do them a favor... BE A PARENT!
The story of the dad and little girl was told by Glen Beck this morning. He said it was his little girl who did not get invited.
A young girl, 6th grade, had a friend that was more like a playground buddy than a friend actually. The friend came to class and handed out invitations for a party at her house.. but this young girl didn't get one. When her father heard, what do you think he could've done? Could he call the friend's parents and demand an invite? Could he take his daughter to the party anyway... and gone in to confront the mother? What would that have accomplished?
His daughter said she was OK with not being invited. She said she should go get a little gift though. Seeing this little girl hurting, he wanted so badly to call the parents. He didn't though. He knew his daughter needed to learn to handle disappointment. She had to learn how to handle rejection. She had to learn to handle being shunned. Though he hurt for her, he knew he could do nothing but help her understand it wouldn't be the last time.
He knew there were parents who want to be friends with their kids. They call each other by first names and serve as the kids personal posse if they get into trouble. They go to the schools to force teachers to change grades, they go to court and argue with the judge. They try to be their friend... not their parent. As a result, their kids lack the tools to handle disappointment. They don't have the social skills needed to deal with rejection. They lash out with guns, knives, or baseball bats and they don't understand the consequences. They expect mom will be there for them. They walk into schools with firearms and take out students and teachers because they've never been taught the value of life. Sadly, as just happened today, some take their lives because they cannot handle being 13.
Parents cannot, and should not, be "friends" with their children. They need to teach, nurture and discipline their children. If you think you don't have time, or you're a single parent, take a look at the story of Dr. Ben Carson. His mom worked more jobs than you do... had less than you do... and she was a parent.
If you really want your kids to be good people, if you really want to do them a favor... BE A PARENT!
The story of the dad and little girl was told by Glen Beck this morning. He said it was his little girl who did not get invited.
Monday, March 18, 2013
The Race Card trumped by the Moron Card
The most interesting thing occurred today. While watching the a news show, I heard some pretty profound comments by Dr. Ben Carson. Apparently, someone had essentially labeled him an Uncle Tom, a token conservative black. Dr. Carson said it best when he said that, in the operating room, once the skin was pulled back, and the bone flap removed... and once through the dura, he was looking at what made the person. It wasn't the color of his skin. Everyone's brain, the true source of an individual's being... is the same color.
It was an "ah ha" moment. We are trying sooooo hard to set aside our differences... to embrace the person and all he/she has to offer... and idiots, jerks, morons, and others play the race card. In the case above, it was a black man commenting on Dr. Carson.
Now, anytime you hear, "... it's society's fault", think of Dr. Carson's story. He was raised in a single parent household. His mother worked 3 jobs to put food on the table. She made her son read... and, even though she could not read them, insisted on reviewing the reports he was required to write about his readings. She was a parent above all knowing that she was responsible for the future of that child. Dr. Carson pioneered procedures for the separation of siamese twins and will soon retire as the Director of Neurosurgery at John Hopkins. This man has street creds! Knowing that, how dare you say the inner city child has no future? Perhaps he/she has the future their parents demand of them. Nothing government can do can compare to the power of the parent.
So, back to this racist thing. The term racist is only used by weak persons as a last resort when they cannot justify their position. The strategy is to force their opponent to defend him/herself rather than concentrating on the issues. The poor person is beaten to the ground with the accuser standing over them. All the caring people in the world always... always assume the accuser is right and punch out that chad on the ballot.
So, what can you do to fix it? What can you move from your circle of concern ... to your circle of influence? I, for one, plan on doing the research... to investigate the claims and then, once I know they're false, write to the papers, the candidate, and the accuser. And then, come 2014, I'll cast my vote for the truth. And my definition...
Racist - someone who likes to compete with others going fast in a car, boat, or on a motorcycle.
BTW, did you see where folks have their panties in a bunch cuz the devil, in the series, The Bible, looks like our prez? Coincidence? :)
It was an "ah ha" moment. We are trying sooooo hard to set aside our differences... to embrace the person and all he/she has to offer... and idiots, jerks, morons, and others play the race card. In the case above, it was a black man commenting on Dr. Carson.
Now, anytime you hear, "... it's society's fault", think of Dr. Carson's story. He was raised in a single parent household. His mother worked 3 jobs to put food on the table. She made her son read... and, even though she could not read them, insisted on reviewing the reports he was required to write about his readings. She was a parent above all knowing that she was responsible for the future of that child. Dr. Carson pioneered procedures for the separation of siamese twins and will soon retire as the Director of Neurosurgery at John Hopkins. This man has street creds! Knowing that, how dare you say the inner city child has no future? Perhaps he/she has the future their parents demand of them. Nothing government can do can compare to the power of the parent.
So, back to this racist thing. The term racist is only used by weak persons as a last resort when they cannot justify their position. The strategy is to force their opponent to defend him/herself rather than concentrating on the issues. The poor person is beaten to the ground with the accuser standing over them. All the caring people in the world always... always assume the accuser is right and punch out that chad on the ballot.
So, what can you do to fix it? What can you move from your circle of concern ... to your circle of influence? I, for one, plan on doing the research... to investigate the claims and then, once I know they're false, write to the papers, the candidate, and the accuser. And then, come 2014, I'll cast my vote for the truth. And my definition...
Racist - someone who likes to compete with others going fast in a car, boat, or on a motorcycle.
BTW, did you see where folks have their panties in a bunch cuz the devil, in the series, The Bible, looks like our prez? Coincidence? :)
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Why are we here?
Seems everyone on sites like facebook want to test your intelligence. Besides word puzzles where we're tested on the first word we see, supposedly a test of our emotional state, to simple math, to how a pyramid would look from the top. Well, here's a couple for you....
First, you have 10 seconds to come up with 3 words that start with an "f" and end in an "e".
OK, next, you have 10 seconds to name your two senators and your representative.
If you were able to do it, congratulations. You are part of the solution. If not, you still have a chance.
I'd read that the average person can name the winner of last season's American Idol but can't name their representatives in Congress. They can spout off stats on sports teams and individual players yet have no idea on where their reps stand on the issues. Whereas nobody's life will be affected if the Colts lose, your basic constitutional rights are being threatened and if you don't know who is voting for what, you shouldn't be surprised nor should you have any reason to complain about things. If you don't know what your reps are doing, if you voted because you recognized the name but had no idea of the candidate's record or philosophy, if you don't research, then you have no right to complain... about anything.
We have another general election in 2014. You have a little over a year to research. You have just 20 months. Do the work... Move the issues from your circle of concern to your circle of influence!
First, you have 10 seconds to come up with 3 words that start with an "f" and end in an "e".
OK, next, you have 10 seconds to name your two senators and your representative.
If you were able to do it, congratulations. You are part of the solution. If not, you still have a chance.
I'd read that the average person can name the winner of last season's American Idol but can't name their representatives in Congress. They can spout off stats on sports teams and individual players yet have no idea on where their reps stand on the issues. Whereas nobody's life will be affected if the Colts lose, your basic constitutional rights are being threatened and if you don't know who is voting for what, you shouldn't be surprised nor should you have any reason to complain about things. If you don't know what your reps are doing, if you voted because you recognized the name but had no idea of the candidate's record or philosophy, if you don't research, then you have no right to complain... about anything.
We have another general election in 2014. You have a little over a year to research. You have just 20 months. Do the work... Move the issues from your circle of concern to your circle of influence!
Monday, March 11, 2013
Circle of concern vs circle of influence
In Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey mentions the circles of concern and influence and what they mean. The circle of concern is where all the things you worry about, but have no control over, are located. The war in Afghanistan, the president's job performance, and global warming are examples. The circle of influence resides in the circle of concern and consists of things you are concerned about AND have the power to do something about. Examples might include how many hours you watch TV or what kind of education your kids get. Covey reminds us that a proactive person doesn't waste his time in the circle of concern wasting time fretting over things he cannot control, but instead operate within his circle of influence. Acting in that circle will bring peace and contentment. An unintended benefit is that your circle of influence will grow allowing you to actually make a difference.
Well, that's how it works. The problem is folks keep thinking that if they complain about Obamacare on Facebook, their duly elected officials will actually read their puny little post, often peppered with various obscenities or threats, and just do it. Well, that ain't gonna happen but, if enough people can be moved to chant the same refrain, perhaps, just maybe, your Senator just might hear you. It is my hope that this forum will help move people to do something... to take a stand, write a letter, make a phone call... ANYTHING besides sitting in that easy chair complaining.. living in their circle of concern. Here is your chance to grow your circle of influence.
Well, that's how it works. The problem is folks keep thinking that if they complain about Obamacare on Facebook, their duly elected officials will actually read their puny little post, often peppered with various obscenities or threats, and just do it. Well, that ain't gonna happen but, if enough people can be moved to chant the same refrain, perhaps, just maybe, your Senator just might hear you. It is my hope that this forum will help move people to do something... to take a stand, write a letter, make a phone call... ANYTHING besides sitting in that easy chair complaining.. living in their circle of concern. Here is your chance to grow your circle of influence.
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